uh.. hello?!

So my fiancee, Mew, got her birthday money today. It's only 40 dollars but still.
So she wanted to take me out on our religious engagement anniversary. My grandmother says she has to buy orange juice and she has to buy her a pack of smokes.. on her birthday money? HELLO?
Rude much?
So Mew goes ahead and takes me out to eat, we buy a cheap pack of cigs, and Mew buys two cheap energy drinks (A dollar each). That came out to about 30 dollars. Including the dinner tip and everything. So we have ten dollars left, and Mew said she wants to buy me some make up(I'm running low) and my grandma still wants the stuff.

I mean it's no big deal, but when we don't have any cigs and she still has cigs.. why does she get a pack first? We're addicted too. I'm just sick of it.. and Elly is getting more money from her husband.. so since she eats food and now lives here basically... she can buy my grandma some cigs and orange juice. I'm 21, have always lived at poverty level, and I'm doing my best to get a college degree so I don't have to be super poor and worried about food and clothes.



*sigh* I can't seem to get any further.

LeSigh...

So, my beautiful fiancee Mew(codename, initials) isn't feeling well and has been in bed all day. I've been doing laundry most of the time.. and attempting to clean. My grandmother angered me again... she keeps making more excuses as why not to clean. She says she has no money, and that she's always low on gas. We gave her a bit of money for her to take my fiancee to the doctor, and she had a FULL take, but took the money and bought pop and stuff. Today she went to the lake (30 min to and hour drive.. one way) to go fishing. Not for food, as they are lucky to catch ONE fish, but for fun.
She doesn't even take me to school anymore, which is one of the reasons my dad sends money every month. That and dog food.. which we run out often.
God, I am so sick of this. Goddess send me some help and let me survive and get the hell out of this house!!

Friends... Not

I'm getting really tired of these people who call me their friend, yet they aren't. This one person names Mirror (codename) says she's my friend, yet she never hangs out with me. She is sooo hypocritical too. She whines and bitches about how fat she is, but won't get off her ass and do something about it. She craves people's attention, love, care, and etc so much she'll eat out anyone's ass for it. Seriously? Grow a backbone. I can't even stand being near her anymore. If it wasn't for the fact I still need her for a couple things, I'd tell her to go screw herself. I mean seriously.. she lies about who she is hanging out with.. really? what are you two?
A lot of things have been annoying me lately, and I'm not sure I can stand it anymore.. so I guess I've started this so I don't kill someone.
I think I should have named this the Bitch Blog.
Screw it, I'm taking a nap.

Such Anger

I am really sick of this house. I may not have given birth yet, and I may not be married yet but I do have a family. I will protect my family.
To protect my family besides physical harms, I want them to live in a clean area. I want to make sure they are well fed, and I want them happy.
To do this I need a job and a career eventually. So I'm trying to go to school, but I guess I'm not that important in this household anymore, as when I need a ride to another campus (it takes me close to two house to walk there) they are to busy doing nothing but picking up fucking TRASH. So trash is more important than my education and more important than some one's granddaughter(myself). Wonderful.
This house has dog poop and dog pee everywhere. It smells so bad. There are roaches everywhere, there are mice and ants but not so much. There are spiders everywhere, and spider eggs. In the attic there is birds, squirrels, and who knows what else. Probably snakes.
Including these nasty animals and their diseases there are their feces and rotting kills or rotting body. There is a hole in the bathroom that has a draft coming from the attic into the house.
There is also mold, non-working toilets, leaking pipes and etc.. that are probably causing more mold.

It's no wonder why I'm getting sick recently. I'm seriously afraid to live in this house anymore.. it's disgusting. Besides those problems there is constantly dirty dishes and constantly trash.. EVERYWHERE. I try to clean the house all the time, but I think I'm done. It just costs to much, and I'm not paying for it anymore. If they want to shell out the money, fine.. but until then I'm not paying over twenty dollars(I get 50 a month if I'm lucky) to keep the house clean that they don't care about.

The poor fridge by the way, now there is always some kind of liquid spilled and rotting food in there.. but god forbid if i try to cook it or use it before it rots. As it's Elly's (Code name) and Elly comes first because the poor poor (snitch/bitch) has cancer. So what. She's not the only freaking person in the world that has cancer. I know. I must seem terrible right now, but no. She and her granddaughter Sandra (code name) comes first. We are not allowed to touch, each, or use anything until they have gotten to. We are to cook and clean after them. If we dirty dishes or anything and don't clean them right away we are yelled at. If we touch their food, or cook for ourselves and not them as well.. we are yelled at. But they demand that we spend things on them, and that we are to share our food or treats with them. They also spy on use and tattle back to my grandmother, and them my grandmother yells at me.
It seems like they are trying so hard to put us back, to set us back from our goals. Our main goal is to get the hell out of this house. Yet they also want us out as soon as possible. If they would just help us or at least not hinder us we would already be out. I'm so sick of this.
I am not the type to suck up yet that is all they want.
My family is my wife! She will come first. So yes... I will cook and clean for her and provide for her, before I will do any ass-kissing to keep your mouth shut.

I hate this place, and I'm starting to hate everyone in it.

When I leave.. I am taking ALL of my things, ALL of my animals, and I am not sending them any money to help out or letting them use anymore of my food stamps.
Oh.. did I forget to mention that? Most of the food in the house is bought by ME, not them.. yet we can't touch it.

Also they are allowed to go out to eat, yet if we do we are yelled at. Not only that they don't even cook for us anymore. That isn't the problem.. the problem is, is that they don't want us to eat with them. If they bring pizza back (four larges.. ) we are given dirty looks if we take a couple pieces, hell if we eat with them at all(And not after) we are given dirty looks, mostly by Elly and Sandra. Um.. hello. MY HOUSE. But they are my grandmothers life obviously, or I and my health would not be taking a back seat to their petty wants and needs. They also buy food(Take out and etc) and bring it back and eat it in front of us.. but we are told to go make something. UM.... let's see.. hmmm. ramen, oatmeal without butter, peanut butter, cornbread, stuff, mac and cheese. Wow.. sounds great compared to you going out to a buffet or getting subway or pizza.

So much for family. Rot in hell.

- Kitten